The weight loss ads are running in full force, the latest workout gadgets are on sale, and the gyms are crowded. It's January and since we get to start all over, it's a new chance to be perfect at eating, at exercising, at changing our health and bodies. How long will it last? Well, that all depends on how you tackle it. If you're a resolution maker but you're as far along as you were last year at this time, it's time to take a good look at what went wrong. Here are the top six mistakes people make when they resolve to lose weight.
1. Too many resolutions!
How many resolutions did you make last year? Chances are you made too many to stick to. As soon as they became too overwhelming to implement you let most of the others go as well. If you change more than three things at a time, chances are, the changes won't last. Each new behavior needs to be practiced over and over until the brain forms new neural pathways. Once those are deeply ingrained your new behavior feels like second nature. That can take days, weeks or months. The fact that you're brushing your teeth in the morning is the result of your parents drilling it into your brain over and over again. Same goes with weight loss goals. Over time the old behavior (hitting the drive-thru on the way home from work) and old neural pathways become weakened and your old negative behavior is replaced by a positive one for good (grabbing a protein shake at the health food store).
Instead, choose 3 behaviors you'll implement on a consistent basis. For example: Starting your day with a high-protein breakfast, drinking at least 3 liters of water a day, and eating at least 2 different vegetables every day. That's a lot of actions to take. Take on any more than that and your life will not only get complicated but trying to live up to your ambitious goals isn't motivating anymore but rather exhausting.
2. You want changes overnight. You want the goal but hate the journey.
Your habits don't change overnight just because you decide you want to change them. You have to practice the new behavior until it become second nature and that takes some time. Sometimes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. Let's say you decide to start your day with a workout, but until this point you have slept in until the last minute. If you want to become a morning person then you have to train yourself daily to behave accordingly and that means you have to get up when the alarm rings instead of turning over. It may not happen the first day. You may skip a few days and you may feel like you failed, but do know that if you stay consistent and practice the new behavior more often than not, your old behaviors become weaker and the new, positive behaviors become easier day by day. Be patient with yourself and know that even the worst behaviors can change with consistent effort. How do I know? I used to be one of those people that slept til 8am and barely made it to work by 9am.
3. Focusing on the numbers
Over the years I have worked with thousands of clients. There is one big mistake that many make who first start out losing weight. They get obsessed by the number on the scale. They have only one goal in mind: to reach a certain weight. In the process they lose touch with their body, with how they feel after a workout, how food affects them, how they make progress in areas, such as gaining lean muscle and losing body fat, improving their overall health. They have one focus only: the number on the scale and that better drop quickly. The more you focus on the scale, the more restrictive your eating becomes, the more you get obsessed by counting calories, food grams and calories burned during the workout. Those participants are typically the ones that lose weight quickly but don't keep it off because they learned nothing about their body in the process. They feel restricted, deprived, like they are on a diet, and as a result cave in eventually and revert to bingeing once the 'diet' is over only to regain the weight twice as fast as they lost it. Then the vicious restriction-binge cycle starts all over...
The successful clients are those that focus on the behaviors that will get them to their goal, rather than the goal itself. While the 'dieter' will focus on how many calories she burned with her morning run, chart her caloric intake in diet apps, weighs herself several times a week or even per day, obsesses over every time she ate a 'bad' food, the successful Slim & Strong participant focuses on planning her 5-6 clean meals loaded with protein and veggies, plans her strength training and cardio workouts and notices the improvement in her definition, a more positive attitude and better mood, amazing skin and energy - all side effects of her daily actions. The long-term success lies in your focus on the ACTIONS that get you results, not the results only.
4. You phrase your resolutions in the negative
I will never eat a cookie again. I'll never skip another workout day. I will not eat fast food.
Your brain does not process negatives. If you tell yourself "I don't want to eat sugar", your brain picks up "I want to eat sugar" and in essence you're sending yourself the command to eat sugar. Make sure you phrase your resolutions in the positive, so your brain can take action. Make your resolutions more powerful and state them as affirmations if they had already become a reality.
Did you know that to your brain it doesn't matter whether it's real or imagined? Do you remember the last time you got ready for a first date? Did your heart beat faster? Did your face get flushed? Did you feel hot and nervous? All those sensations were the result of your imagination and anticipation - nothing had even happened, but the brain is powerful and can create powerful physical responses just based on pure imagination. IMagine using that power to create in your body what you visualize in your mind! Imagine your body and your life as if it had already come true. For example, a powerful affirmation would be: "I am now a size 6 and see definition in my arms and legs. My stomach is flat and I have great energy when I get up in the morning." You want to phrase your affirmations in as much detail and color as possible because your brain responds more strongly to vivid descriptions just as you probably prefer a color movie to a black-and-white still picture.
5. It's all or nothing
Does the following sound familiar? You started out the new year on the right foot. You're eating clean, working out every day. You've perfected your new life...until the day you have to stay late at work and you didn't get a chance to eat a decent meal or get in that hour-long workout as you had planned. Your entire day didn't go according to plan. The next day isn't much better and rather than continuing on with your workouts and clean meals you feel that you have failed. Since you weren't able to do it perfectly, you might as well not do it at all because it's not according to your original plan. That's when many people give in and stop the new behaviors entirely. Aiming for perfectionism is not only not motivating, but also not realistic. We are not meant to be perfect. There is not a single perfect person in the world. Plus, perfection is only a fleeting moment. The moment you think you have it, it's already gone because your body will always be a work in progress. Set yourself up for realistic goals that match your lifestyle and your resources. Being unrealistic and reaching for something that's out of reach is demotivating and will set you up for failure. Plan realistically and set yourself up for success!
6. Feeling guilty when you're not perfect
We don't live perfect lives. Life, work and stress can get in the way. What sets apart the people that reach their goals and those that give in, are those that realize that you don't have to be perfect to change your body. You just have to be consistent. And, just because you missed a few days in the gym doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel entirely and give up. Giving up at that point means you have an all-or-nothing attitude. You're either perfect or you do nothing at all. Neither will get you to your goal. Perfection will make you feel so restricted that you'll eventually cave in. Giving up keeps you where you are and sets you back even more.
If you recognize yourself in this scenario, be more lenient with yourself and come up with a Plan B next time your original plan doesn't work out. For example, rather than aiming for 7 workouts a week, plan for 3 and give yourself extra credit if you make it to 4. Rather than proclaiming to never eat a piece of chocolate ever again, plan to have two cheat meals per week where you get to enjoy a treat guilt-free. Guilt is the worst feeling to have when you're trying to get lean and fit. It will make you restrict yourself even more, makes you feel bad about yourself and creates a very ambiguous black-and -white relationships with your body. You should be working WITH your body, not against it.
Next time you're enjoying a treat, enjoy it guilt-free and see it as part of your plan. It'll keep you on track, prevents you from overdoing it and the extra calories once in a while keep your metabolism from slowing down.
Ready to plan your 2013? Take 2 minutes to answer these questions:
1. Too many resolutions!
How many resolutions did you make last year? Chances are you made too many to stick to. As soon as they became too overwhelming to implement you let most of the others go as well. If you change more than three things at a time, chances are, the changes won't last. Each new behavior needs to be practiced over and over until the brain forms new neural pathways. Once those are deeply ingrained your new behavior feels like second nature. That can take days, weeks or months. The fact that you're brushing your teeth in the morning is the result of your parents drilling it into your brain over and over again. Same goes with weight loss goals. Over time the old behavior (hitting the drive-thru on the way home from work) and old neural pathways become weakened and your old negative behavior is replaced by a positive one for good (grabbing a protein shake at the health food store).
Instead, choose 3 behaviors you'll implement on a consistent basis. For example: Starting your day with a high-protein breakfast, drinking at least 3 liters of water a day, and eating at least 2 different vegetables every day. That's a lot of actions to take. Take on any more than that and your life will not only get complicated but trying to live up to your ambitious goals isn't motivating anymore but rather exhausting.
2. You want changes overnight. You want the goal but hate the journey.
Your habits don't change overnight just because you decide you want to change them. You have to practice the new behavior until it become second nature and that takes some time. Sometimes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. Let's say you decide to start your day with a workout, but until this point you have slept in until the last minute. If you want to become a morning person then you have to train yourself daily to behave accordingly and that means you have to get up when the alarm rings instead of turning over. It may not happen the first day. You may skip a few days and you may feel like you failed, but do know that if you stay consistent and practice the new behavior more often than not, your old behaviors become weaker and the new, positive behaviors become easier day by day. Be patient with yourself and know that even the worst behaviors can change with consistent effort. How do I know? I used to be one of those people that slept til 8am and barely made it to work by 9am.
3. Focusing on the numbers
Over the years I have worked with thousands of clients. There is one big mistake that many make who first start out losing weight. They get obsessed by the number on the scale. They have only one goal in mind: to reach a certain weight. In the process they lose touch with their body, with how they feel after a workout, how food affects them, how they make progress in areas, such as gaining lean muscle and losing body fat, improving their overall health. They have one focus only: the number on the scale and that better drop quickly. The more you focus on the scale, the more restrictive your eating becomes, the more you get obsessed by counting calories, food grams and calories burned during the workout. Those participants are typically the ones that lose weight quickly but don't keep it off because they learned nothing about their body in the process. They feel restricted, deprived, like they are on a diet, and as a result cave in eventually and revert to bingeing once the 'diet' is over only to regain the weight twice as fast as they lost it. Then the vicious restriction-binge cycle starts all over...
The successful clients are those that focus on the behaviors that will get them to their goal, rather than the goal itself. While the 'dieter' will focus on how many calories she burned with her morning run, chart her caloric intake in diet apps, weighs herself several times a week or even per day, obsesses over every time she ate a 'bad' food, the successful Slim & Strong participant focuses on planning her 5-6 clean meals loaded with protein and veggies, plans her strength training and cardio workouts and notices the improvement in her definition, a more positive attitude and better mood, amazing skin and energy - all side effects of her daily actions. The long-term success lies in your focus on the ACTIONS that get you results, not the results only.
4. You phrase your resolutions in the negative
I will never eat a cookie again. I'll never skip another workout day. I will not eat fast food.
Your brain does not process negatives. If you tell yourself "I don't want to eat sugar", your brain picks up "I want to eat sugar" and in essence you're sending yourself the command to eat sugar. Make sure you phrase your resolutions in the positive, so your brain can take action. Make your resolutions more powerful and state them as affirmations if they had already become a reality.
Did you know that to your brain it doesn't matter whether it's real or imagined? Do you remember the last time you got ready for a first date? Did your heart beat faster? Did your face get flushed? Did you feel hot and nervous? All those sensations were the result of your imagination and anticipation - nothing had even happened, but the brain is powerful and can create powerful physical responses just based on pure imagination. IMagine using that power to create in your body what you visualize in your mind! Imagine your body and your life as if it had already come true. For example, a powerful affirmation would be: "I am now a size 6 and see definition in my arms and legs. My stomach is flat and I have great energy when I get up in the morning." You want to phrase your affirmations in as much detail and color as possible because your brain responds more strongly to vivid descriptions just as you probably prefer a color movie to a black-and-white still picture.
5. It's all or nothing
Does the following sound familiar? You started out the new year on the right foot. You're eating clean, working out every day. You've perfected your new life...until the day you have to stay late at work and you didn't get a chance to eat a decent meal or get in that hour-long workout as you had planned. Your entire day didn't go according to plan. The next day isn't much better and rather than continuing on with your workouts and clean meals you feel that you have failed. Since you weren't able to do it perfectly, you might as well not do it at all because it's not according to your original plan. That's when many people give in and stop the new behaviors entirely. Aiming for perfectionism is not only not motivating, but also not realistic. We are not meant to be perfect. There is not a single perfect person in the world. Plus, perfection is only a fleeting moment. The moment you think you have it, it's already gone because your body will always be a work in progress. Set yourself up for realistic goals that match your lifestyle and your resources. Being unrealistic and reaching for something that's out of reach is demotivating and will set you up for failure. Plan realistically and set yourself up for success!
6. Feeling guilty when you're not perfect
We don't live perfect lives. Life, work and stress can get in the way. What sets apart the people that reach their goals and those that give in, are those that realize that you don't have to be perfect to change your body. You just have to be consistent. And, just because you missed a few days in the gym doesn't mean you have to throw in the towel entirely and give up. Giving up at that point means you have an all-or-nothing attitude. You're either perfect or you do nothing at all. Neither will get you to your goal. Perfection will make you feel so restricted that you'll eventually cave in. Giving up keeps you where you are and sets you back even more.
If you recognize yourself in this scenario, be more lenient with yourself and come up with a Plan B next time your original plan doesn't work out. For example, rather than aiming for 7 workouts a week, plan for 3 and give yourself extra credit if you make it to 4. Rather than proclaiming to never eat a piece of chocolate ever again, plan to have two cheat meals per week where you get to enjoy a treat guilt-free. Guilt is the worst feeling to have when you're trying to get lean and fit. It will make you restrict yourself even more, makes you feel bad about yourself and creates a very ambiguous black-and -white relationships with your body. You should be working WITH your body, not against it.
Next time you're enjoying a treat, enjoy it guilt-free and see it as part of your plan. It'll keep you on track, prevents you from overdoing it and the extra calories once in a while keep your metabolism from slowing down.
Ready to plan your 2013? Take 2 minutes to answer these questions:
- One year from now my body will look like this (describe in as much detail as possible):
- I'm implementing the following 3 actions on a daily basis (focus on nutrition, water intake, exercise):
- My weekly workout schedule is:
- When I work out regularly and eat clean I notice the following changes (refer back to these motivators whenever you are tempted to go off track):
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